just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
