end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
