Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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