It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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