i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize