Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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