we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Fuck appropriateness.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
