In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize