I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
