it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
