Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
