You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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