I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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