i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
