my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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