With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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