So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize