so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
