I just saw a hot homeless man
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
