I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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