I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
