I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.