I thought spray tan was a myth
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.