Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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