Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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