The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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