She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
