The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
