i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
