I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
