spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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