And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
