I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
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I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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