i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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