You're completely useless in the revolution.
You work out of a Hotel?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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