Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
