So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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