I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
