New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I have tasted many bathrooms
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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