Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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