I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
