hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
