Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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