you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
