My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
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