I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize