so explain again why im purple
no
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
