i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
