he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
