Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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