I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
