I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
