I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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