you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
