you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
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I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
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the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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