I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
