Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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