you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
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