i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
