watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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