i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
