PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
God, I missed his penis.
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