She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
