do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
