I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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