I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
