If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
