i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
