Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
